He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
