Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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