and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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