Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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