FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize