Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This baby is an asshole
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
