why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
