My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
