I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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