Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.