Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
soo... how was my night?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
