Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
