I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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