I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
