If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
