This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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