she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
