Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
