her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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