it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround