Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"