I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka