I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
