i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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