You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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