it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
