Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
