i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
