she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
