This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
