he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
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i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
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He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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