I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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