Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
