I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
