you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
