Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
