guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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