whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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