cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Who died my cat blue again?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
