Me too!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
