How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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