I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
