He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i think i have two assholes
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
