is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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