We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
