apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
