He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
