my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
