Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
