What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She needs sedatives and a leash
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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