I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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