She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
