Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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