Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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