its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
