Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Life without a bra equals bliss.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
