that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
