Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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