I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
