Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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