Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
