Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
