the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
