i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Holy sore nipples Batman
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