my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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