Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
