If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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