in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
