is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
