I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just gargled with NyQuil
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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