carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
its not stalking. its research.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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